I heard an interesting comment on the radio recently by a woman who was giving advice about how to be a better co-parent with your spouse. My interest was obviously piqued, as I want to be good at that, but I was a little disappointed. She said something along the lines of: my husband will often do things that I don’t understand, like wrestle or play noisily with the kids. I have to remind myself that his way of parenting is not wrong and just let him do this.
Maybe I have more in common with this woman than I felt in that moment, but I really couldn’t relate to not wanting my husband to have fun with the kids. I LOVE when David comes home and swings the kids around or dances through the living room with them on his shoulders. I am so glad he is the kind of Dad who is active and involved and demonstrative with our little loves.
But, I do have my “things.” Like, I tend to think I am better at keeping the kids’ routine (and I am), or that I am the best at changing their diapers (I’m not) and getting them to nap. Although I get the most practice in these things since I’m with the kids every day, I do not always know best and am often wrong about what they need (and David is right).
Once upon a time, we were packing up our life in Lansing and living our last crazy days in the US before flying overseas, and we were stressed. The baby was handling it all pretty well, but I wanted to do everything I could to make sure he was getting enough rest and staying relatively on his “schedule.” One afternoon, I needed to run errands and David was going to stay home. He would keep the baby, he said, and they would take a nap. I was incredulous. This was a crib-trained baby who would make exceptions to sleep next to his Mama, but he didn’t just nap because someone said so. But, wanting to be a supportive wife and let David also take charge in baby matters, I left the two of them to figure it out.
The next time I walked by the room, this is what I saw:
And there you have it. A lesson learned in trusting my husband’s parenting and just letting him be. I’m so glad I didn’t prevent this peace from happening with my “perfect” plan.