Funny what a little sweating can do to the heart. I remember our palms sweating when we held hands in the beginning, the pure euphoria of skin touching skin. Actually, the first time felt normal, like how it feels to hold hands in a circle to pray, and you’re next to someone else’s husband and […]
Typical Saturday. David is working and the kids and I had a birthday party to go to, which is actually the better kind of Saturday than when he’s working and there’s no party. With lots of sugar in them and no husband to help, bedtime was surprisingly smooth. All three big kids in bed by […]
Sometimes prayer feels like talking to the ceiling. It can be therapeutic, sure. There’s something about saying my request out loud or at least getting it on paper that has its own value, apart from the chance an all-powerful Deity is listening in and wanting to answer with a “yes.” But what if someone is listening? For me, this […]
Birth stories are their own genre. I have three so far, this one written just after it happened but then never quite finished, like so many things in my life of having three babies. But however long it takes I like to finish things, so here it is. It’s raining today. Ransom’s second day, and […]
She wanted me to kiss all her dolls today. “Mr. Bear has bump!” Then, “Me doll has bump, too!” I kissed faux fur and plastic cheeks, and they were all better. What I really wanted was to kiss her little face, her wiggly front tooth that was knocked by some Other Kid in child care […]
A few months ago, a few weeks after having my third baby, I sat on the floor next to my friend’s green couch and cried with her. She started bleeding the day before, was up the whole night as her body brutally expelled her hopes and dreams. The only reason I knew this was happening is because her […]
We own two couches. One of them, a red and green plaid couch that almost looks fancy, David found in a dumpster about 9 years ago. I was tired of it back when we first were married, tired of how it looked and also how it was starting to rip and was already sewn back […]
When I eat a piece of chocolate, even one of those small ones that comes in a box of 20, I make it last. I take small bites, letting every piece melt in my mouth. David tends to take huge mouthfuls. He actually says he enjoys it more when there’s a bigger bite to chew. […]
When we were brand new parents with a perfect little newborn, we stood in our church in Lansing, Michigan, and did what people do: we dedicated that sweet baby to God, and declared before our church family that we were going to do our level best to raise that baby with Jesus’ love. He had […]
These are the crazy days. I write this with hope, in great anticipation of that someday when I’ll look back and think: Ha! That was nuts, wasn’t it? When this will be over, and I’ll smile about it. What is this, exactly? What shape is my crazy? It’s being 6 days past my due date, […]